Well, now we are into the weekend after. It's been one week to the day since the changing point in my life. I have plans. I'm meeting my girlfriend (the one working on the intense inventory) for coffee and doing some major step work and then picking up another girlfriend at the end of her marathon to spend the day with her. I am so frustrated with having to keep myself so busy. But I'm doing what I'm told.
The step work is good and intense. Taking this hard of a look at myself is not easy. I don't like who I used to be and living with some of the things I've done is painful. My understanding is that by working through this past of mine will reap amazing rewards later. I'm trying so hard to have faith. But I'm just not there yet.
Then I pick my girlfriend up from the park after her marathon and we go to her house. She has the most amazing son who occupies my time so well. I'm truly grateful for this little kiddo. I take tons of pictures and post them on Facebook. I'm thinking manipulatively (which I'm not proud of) in that I'm wanting him to see the pics and miss me. I'm constantly posting pictures on Facebook. She and I go shopping and hang out for a few hours and then I'm off to go home to meet up with another girlfriend who's coming over.
I make brownies in my cast iron pan and they are delicious. We hang out for the evening until way past my normal bed time and catch up. She has a similar story to mine with the break up and I listen to what she has to say and she listens to me and gives me some great feedback.
She goes home and I go to bed and cry again. I've cried off and on all day. But I'm not crying as much by this point.
Sunday is church and meeting day and I have no memory of what happens after that.
Week two is quickly approaching!
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